Dear Parents, Family and Supporters of incoming Siena Saints,
The time is almost here to let your emerging adult “go.” Your feelings are, undoubtedly, mixed. Still beaming with pride from the accomplishments and milestones recently made, you are faced with another host of feelings as they head off to their new home away from home — Siena University. You are likely filled with excitement about the lasting friendships they will make, eagerness for the EDUCATION FOR A LIFETIME that they will receive, and curiosity about the person and SAINT they will become! On the other hand, you may be nervous about their readiness to take the next step. The “what ifs” inevitably pop up. What if they are homesick? What if they do not make friends? Will my commuter feel a sense of belonging? What if they get sick? What if they can’t handle the rigor of their major?
The truth is, college is one of many major life transitions that will come with a number of victories, and challenges, for each of them. There are countless words of advice that could be offered for the start of this journey, too many to capture here. However, I would like to offer some words of support that I hope will help you at drop off and beyond.
First and foremost, believe in them and be the mirror that reflects their strength. “We can do hard things” is my favorite mantra and is one that holds so much power! Remind them of their competencies, often. At times, especially as they first embark on their college experience, they may not be able to see their strengths for themselves. It is so important to recognize that if they have made it this far, they have presumably gotten through complex problems, big transitions, disappointments, and all the associated uncomfortable feelings! Perhaps reflect upon just surviving middle school, or navigating the transition from middle school to high school (despite how scary it was), or the rigorous exam, or the lost relationship that they thought would break them, or the “cut” from the team that hurt so much. Remind them of how they got through these times and get specific about the strengths they possessed that ultimately led to their success. Even if it was hard, even if they failed the test, they- made- it- so much so that they were accepted into college (and a pretty special one too!). Through these challenges came growth and resilience.
It may also be helpful to consider that interdependence often happens on their road to independence. They are taking the next step, but they are not truly doing it alone. They have you, and likely other friends and family, that are just a call away. Additionally, they have SIENA, where they will not be just a number, but a valued individual in our community. Fortunately, they chose a university that is resource rich, and if called upon, has a plethora of SAINTS who are willing to step in and support them during their time here. Together, these supports can continue to act as guides to emerging adults. This may include asking questions about their thoughts and ideas, having them identify possible solutions, weighing options and researching available resources together. In turn, your SAINT will contribute to the success of the community and their peers by utilizing and sharing their own unique strengths and talents.
In closing, I would like to extend the support of myself, and my team, who are excited to welcome this new class to the Siena community.
We are located at 110 Foy Hall and can be reached at (518) 783-2342. I encourage students and families to explore our website. We hope to see you at the transition events, and professional panels, where you can meet us and learn more about our services.
Be well,
Nicole Muller, LCSW-R
Director of the Counseling Center