Tom Smalley ’20 used to spend hours every day on his compulsions. Literally hours. If he didn’t tap an object 100 times or take 500 steps, it meant his family would get in a car wreck. Or he’d lose his next sports game. Or God wouldn’t love him. Or he’d injure someone accidentally. Those fears were in his head constantly, and he devised compulsions to ensure himself that everything would be OK.
It got bad enough that he couldn’t hide it at home or at school. He reached out to his parents and doctors, and was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and anxiety at 16. Now he knew his problem had a name – but did it have a solution?
OCD doesn’t mean you’re a super organized or neat person, he explained. It’s not about little rituals to bring luck. OCD is a serious disorder, and those with it engage in compulsive behavior that they believe will ward off something terrible occurring. Smalley shared his mental health journey and how he turned it into personal and career success on March 24 as the Psychology Department’s annual featured speaker.
“OCD is not fun or quirky,” he explained. “It’s debilitating and distressing. Your compulsions bring a very temporary relief from your anxiety, but they soon become obsessions and take away significant time from your life.”
His tough times brought him wisdom, and a drive to inspire others. After earning his B.A. in psychology from Siena, he went on to receive an M.S. in exercise and sports science from Merrimack College. He founded the business Struggle Into Strength, which offers mental performance consulting services to help athletes, professionals, and high performers strengthen their mental fitness, develop essential mental skills, and elevate their peak performance. He is a certified mental performance consultant, a certified strength and conditioning specialist, a lead advocate for the International OCD Foundation, co-founder of the Anxiety in Athletes task force and online resource center, and hosts the podcast “Smalls Talk.” An impressive resume for someone who was an undergrad only five years ago.
Max Levine, Ph.D., department chair and professor of psychology, said Smalley’s presentation
was “a wonderful opportunity for the Siena community to bask in the reflected glory of the successes of one of our own recent graduates.
“Students in the audience could easily relate to the struggles Tom faced when he was in their shoes, and the story of how he learned to manage his anxiety and OCD in order to achieve such incredible things is an inspiration to us all. I've heard from many who were there to hear Tom's message that they have a renewed sense of hope and confidence to be able to cope with their own anxieties now and in the future.”
Smalley, who now lives in Austin, Texas, told his audience that “the language around mental health needs to change,” and the despite efforts to bring openness and acceptance, there is still something of a stigma regarding mental illness.
Through talk therapy, medication and exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy, Smalley is able to keep a handle on his OCD and anxiety symptoms, but as he said, “progress takes time” and sometimes he finds the process “mentally and emotionally draining.” Helping others – athletes, business people, veterans – be their best selves helps him keep him focused and healthy.
He said his time as an undergraduate was a struggle, but that his friendships with Siena classmates and faculty had a tremendously positive impact on him.
“We talk about Siena offering the ‘Education for a Lifetime’? Siena gave me relationships for a lifetime,” he said. His parents have also been understanding and supportive, and it was his mother who told him that together they would turn “struggle into strength,” a phrase he adopted as the name of his company.
“My dreams and aspirations became a driving force for me to keep fighting,” he said. “Your purpose is your north star.”