Where Should I Have My Child Baptized?

In recent years, I have become more and more convinced that baptisms should NOT ordinarily take place in the Siena Chapel, but in the parish church where the parents regularly worship.

I have often agreed to celebrate baptisms at Siena, but always have had reservations about doing this. It may seem "nice" to have baptisms in the college chapel, especially when a couple has been married here, but frankly, it does not make good theological or liturgical sense. Baptism represents a formal initiation into the community of faith, and is most appropriately celebrated in the specific church community to which a family belongs. This would ordinarily be their local parish.

Sometimes, couples want to baptize their children at Siena because they do not have a connection with a parish community. Maybe they don't really go to church or otherwise practice their faith on a regular basis. Or maybe they bounce around from one church to another, and have never registered in a specific parish. In cases like these, when we allow a baptism at Siena we may be sending the very bad message that baptism is an isolated ritual that has little or nothing to do with regular and active membership in a specific church community. We priests at Siena should encourage these couples to get connected with a parish and to celebrate the baptism there. This is, after all, where the family will regularly worship (we hope!), and where the child will regularly hear the word of God and be nourished in his or her faith. Parishes also generally offer baptismal preparation sessions for parents and godparents, an important component of the process that Siena is just not able to provide.

Of course, there are exceptional circumstances. For example, I recently baptized at Siena the child of a couple who live in Florida, but whose parents live close to the college. The couple actually had their first child baptized in their parish in Florida, where they are regular and active members, but were deeply disappointed because the grandparents could not be there. They asked if they could have their second child baptized at Siena so that the whole extended family could be present for the celebration. Their pastor in Florida consented to this arrangement, so I consented too.

In short, my belief is that baptisms should only take place at Siena in truly extenuating circumstances, and only with the consent of a couple's local pastor.

I am certainly happy to come to a couple's church to celebrate a baptism, as long as the pastor approves. Most priests are happy to defer to a priest who is a family friend. But parents might want to consider that their pastor is the most appropriate person to baptize their child, since he is the shepherd of the parish community.